Arranged Marriages.......

When I was young my mother took me to see 'Fiddler on the Roof'. I loved the movie. I still do. I loved how the father, Tevye, had conversations with God as he went about his daily chores. I loved how the family was (mostly) happy, even though they had nothing and were dirt poor. I loved how the daughters rebelled against the tradition of arranged marriages and made their own choices about who they would love/marry/spend their life with.

Now that I am grown I see things a little differently. I still love the relationship between Tevye and his Heavenly Father. I, too, have conversations with God as I go about my day. I am, however, rethinking the rebellious daughters and the merits of arranged marriage.

I've come to the conclusion that there is something to be said for arranged marriages. I mean really, think about it. How much perspective can hormone-ravaged young people have? Can't we, as older and wiser adults, see further into the future and better predict the outcome of a certain match? Young people see only themselves and a Disney-esque future of "happily ever after". We (older and wiser) see families, extended families, support systems, future speed bumps and roadblocks. We have perspective!!

Yes, arranged marriages are the way to go. Having 4 children (okay, fine....young adults) of marrying age I can see that my work is cut out for me. I can easily see who might (or more importantly...might NOT) be a good match for my kids. (No, Mary, I don't have anyone picked out for you) I base these choices on maturity, reliability, perceived compatibility, family background and yes, attractiveness. (after all, who wants ugly grandchildren!)

I haven't yet figured out how to get my kids to go along with this plan....I raised them all to think for themselves. In retrospect, that may be my downfall. I can sympathize with Tevye and his strong-willed daughters.

Wish me luck!!