I was reading this blog yesterday, and as I was preparing to comment on it, I realized that I could probably write my own blog about this subject. In case you decide not to read the linked blog (you really should, though) it's about the things we think we shouldn't have to tell our children to do/not do (like 'spit on the carpet'!) but it turns out we really should have told them.
Here are my top ten:
1. Don't put dimes in the car power adapter. Sparks will fly and you may set the car on fire.
2. Don't put Hot Wheels cars (or toast) in the VCR. It will severely impede the functionality of said VCR.
3. Don't try to balance pennies on top of night-lights. The penny may slip behind the night-light and get caught on the prongs, causing sparks to fly, and the penny to melt. You may have to throw a pillow at the night-light over and over again to knock it out of the wall safely.
4. Don't push the mattress off of your bed. It may lodge against the door and you and your sister may be trapped in your room for quite some time.
5. Don't prank Eleanor. You will regret it.
6. Don't test the sharpness of the knife by running it across the palm of your hand. Just trust me when I tell you that it's sharp!
7. Wear shoes when playing baseball. It hurts when the other players step on your feet, and you may just break a bone sliding into home plate.
8. Never stack a chair on top of a table in the gym at church, then leap off the chair trying to grab the rim of the basketball standard. You will spend the rest of the summer in a cast.
9. Don't play in the car with your two-year-old sister. And, especially, don't put the car in reverse. You may have to use all of your five-year-old strength to keep the car from rolling into the street.
10. Don't put beans up your nose.
If I've missed any, please let me know. I've still got a few years of parenting left and I want to be sure I cover all my bases.
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4 comments:
Whatever you do Thou shalt not get married in December. I wish I knew this one last August...too late. I'm stressed but it will be lovely right?! If I'm not totally out of my mind in 2 weeks.
I love reading your stories. So funny and frightening.
These are some really good hints! I might add Do NOT sword fight with pool noodles in the van when cleaning it out - somebody might get hurt & need stitches.
Do not place your finger in the hole of a steering wheel spoke. You may have to remove the steering wheel and wear it to the emegercy room for removal
Sorry I'm just getting here. I just remembered that you said you were going to write something like this.
And yours is WAY better than mine. Must come from having all those grown-up children!
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