Fair Warning....

Consider this fair warning.....I am NOT the Hyatt Regency. This is important information if you should ever come to visit me.

--You will NOT get a two bedroom suite with wi-fi access and your own big screen color t.v. with unlimited channels. You will sleep in the basement (it's a nice basement!) on a cot or maybe a blow-up mattress, and you will have to share a television with two small boys who watch Spongebob Squarepants for hours on end.

--There is no breakfast buffet. There is, however, quite a selection of sugared cereals, and maybe some bagels, frozen waffles, or pop-tarts.

--I do not have scheduled entertainment. There are no Broadway shows or dinner theatre. You can, however, watch my boys (15, 16, and 22) shoot paintballs at each other and compare the welts left behind. I've been told that this is great fun.

--You will not have a private bath with scented soap, little shampoo bottles, and matching towels. You will get a shared bathroom cleaned by a 15 year old boy who was looking to make five bucks and may have missed a spot or two. Your towels will NOT match.

--Lunch is whatever is on the menu....usually a peanut butter sandwich, cheetos and kool-aid.

--If I haven't scared you off, let me tell you the benefits of staying at Chateau Armbruster....

--If you come to visit me you will be welcomed with open arms and treated like family. We are pretty casual around here and like to spend time working on puzzles, playing games, and watching movies. You can go for a walk in the neighborhood, swim at the neighborhood pool, play tennis at the clubhouse, or just sit and talk. You can take a nap if you want, and I might make some cookies for us to munch on. You can play Wii, Playstation 2 or Nintendo 64. If you prefer, we can break out the board games and have a marathon monopoly session or play farkle or dominos.

So, there you have it. We'd love for you to come anytime, but you've been given fair warning.........there will NOT be a mint on your pillow.